Friday, February 17, 2012

Fear

What is it that you fear? When you are alone and the house is silent. You can hear the tinking of sounds outside the walls of your illusory safety or perhaps it is sirens in the distance that catches your attention. At this moment in the lonely hours of the night, what is the thing you fear?

For me, it is the fear of not being strong enough or prepared to save the people I love if they should need saving. I fear that by my ineptitude or inattention, people I love will come to harm. Irrational, right? I mean seriously, this is an irrational fear. We live in a place that is safe. I am a veteran who has been trained to protect people. I am not afraid of fighting, violence or firearms. So what is it that generates the fear?

I think for me, its genesis lies in my dreams. I dream of others dying or disappearing. It hurts to even remember the dreams. What niggling self-doubt is so rooted in my psyche that it manifests itself in my dreams?
These dreams are not light-hearted dreams of death and loss. My dreams are full on technicolor wonderscapes of epic size and scope. They are like watching a multi-hour film I am unable to escape.
These movie-dreams scare me and I have at least one a week. Sometimes it is about my children. Other times it is about my wife. Much of my book, The Rise Of Majick, is based in locales I have dreamed at one time or another. It is based in the dystopia that my dreams pull from our world. That is why I am afraid to keep writing book two. But I will because it is a great story.

My dreams have evil and mystery rolled into them. Sometimes it is the dark building with mold covered floors and dingy windows that has me trapped as I search from room to room for the loved one who is missing. At times there are demons, monsters or some generic bad guy in a long dark coat that is blocking my passage or trying to kill me. At the scariest times, it is just me blocking myself.

What is your fear? What is your dream theme? Do you share them or do you keep them to yourself. Can you be honest with yourself about the cold sweat you feel trickling down your back when you wake-up, paralyzed with fear? Or do you not know these dreams? Are your dreams fun and exciting?
Feel free to share what you dare in the comments below.

2 comments:

  1. Love it! I used to have a recurring, serial story dream about a witch chasing me through dark, scary woods...the kind with few leaves and long limbs that reach out to snag you. I kid you not, the dream would pick up where it left off each night.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love dreams like that! I have had multiple dreams through my life like that. Sometimes, I couldn't wait to get to sleep to continue the adventure!

    ReplyDelete